We are at a post-show party. Tony and Michael are dressed in 70s clothes. They serve Shloer. There is a buffet table with 70s snacks. A hedgehog with cheese and pineapple on sticks and mini-sausages etc. A record plays on a record player - The Sound of Music. There are sixteen stools onstage / offstage. When everyone has a drink Michael stops the record abruptly. Tony steps forward to address audience.
Tony: Is there a Doctor in the House?
Michael: Ladies and Gentlemen please return to your seats and keep calm
Tony: The party’s over
Michael: The show has begun
Tony: Scene One
Michael: The Prelude
Tony: My name is Tony
Michael: My name is Michael
Tony: I am his father
Michael: I am his son
Tony: I will be playing my son
Michael: I will be playing my father
Both: We are father and son
Tony: This is the show
Michael: The the Post-Show Party
Tony: The Post-Show Party Show
Michael: Show them where we are
Tony: We are at a show
Michael: We are at a party
Tony: A post-show party
Michael: The show is over
Tony: The party has begun
Michael: We hope you enjoy the show
Tony: The party
Michael: The post-show party
Both: The post-show party show
Sunday 30 December 2007
The Synopsis
For people who don’t know the story my Dad has written a synopsis
In pre-war Austria at Nonnberg Abbey, Salzburg, Maria a young novice Nun wants to aspire to Holy Orders but is constantly distracted by the Musicality of the surrounding Hills and other fascinations. Her Mother Superior is sympathetic and decides to place her as Governess to a local family – 7 children with a widower father, Capt Georg von Trapp, who is engaged to a Baroness, Elsa Schraeder, and is a naval disciplinarian. He has a regular friend, Max, who is often found staying with him.
Georg is a staunch Austrian and has no love for the threatening Nazi influence. Georg’s eldest daughter, Liesl (16) is fondly attached to local telegraph boy Rolf Gruber who is about to be recruited into the Hitler Youth machine and, being only slightly older than Liesl, tells her she is still rather too young.
Maria arrives to find a family tension among the children, desperate for their father’s attention and love; she quickly befriends them, guides them with music, home-made clothes and outings and other favourite things and generally brings warmth to the whole house. During a family party at which Georg ruffles a few Nazi feathers and the children perform a specially prepared song, the Captain comes to realise this and that he has become attracted to Maria, a fact which the Baroness is quick to spot. She manipulates Maria’s sudden departure from the house.
Max, who is as cynical about love as he is about politics, and has no strong political conviction, is engaged in preparing a Concert for the community and wants the Children to take part as the von Trapp family singers. He is still an Austrian at heart though showing a neutral attitude to the imminent Anschluss.
The children are pining for Maria while the Captain and Elsa proceed with plans for their marriage. Maria has gone back to the Abbey convent, but Mother Abbess persuades her that convent life is not to be used as an escape from the realities of life and love. Maria returns to the family, to the children’s great joy and Elsa’s realistic chagrin. The Captain declares his love and they marry in style at the Abbey.
The Anschluss occurs while they are away on honeymoon, and the concert goes ahead on their return. To avoid a command from Berlin to take up a post in the German Navy Georg sings with the family at the Concert and escapes before the final curtain via the Convent. Rolf, despite his former affections, is instrumental in getting the chase under way, but the Nuns find ways of immobilising Nazi cars and Mother Abbess bids the entire family godspeed as they “Climb Every Mountain” to Switzerland and safety. Everyone lives happily ever after.
In pre-war Austria at Nonnberg Abbey, Salzburg, Maria a young novice Nun wants to aspire to Holy Orders but is constantly distracted by the Musicality of the surrounding Hills and other fascinations. Her Mother Superior is sympathetic and decides to place her as Governess to a local family – 7 children with a widower father, Capt Georg von Trapp, who is engaged to a Baroness, Elsa Schraeder, and is a naval disciplinarian. He has a regular friend, Max, who is often found staying with him.
Georg is a staunch Austrian and has no love for the threatening Nazi influence. Georg’s eldest daughter, Liesl (16) is fondly attached to local telegraph boy Rolf Gruber who is about to be recruited into the Hitler Youth machine and, being only slightly older than Liesl, tells her she is still rather too young.
Maria arrives to find a family tension among the children, desperate for their father’s attention and love; she quickly befriends them, guides them with music, home-made clothes and outings and other favourite things and generally brings warmth to the whole house. During a family party at which Georg ruffles a few Nazi feathers and the children perform a specially prepared song, the Captain comes to realise this and that he has become attracted to Maria, a fact which the Baroness is quick to spot. She manipulates Maria’s sudden departure from the house.
Max, who is as cynical about love as he is about politics, and has no strong political conviction, is engaged in preparing a Concert for the community and wants the Children to take part as the von Trapp family singers. He is still an Austrian at heart though showing a neutral attitude to the imminent Anschluss.
The children are pining for Maria while the Captain and Elsa proceed with plans for their marriage. Maria has gone back to the Abbey convent, but Mother Abbess persuades her that convent life is not to be used as an escape from the realities of life and love. Maria returns to the family, to the children’s great joy and Elsa’s realistic chagrin. The Captain declares his love and they marry in style at the Abbey.
The Anschluss occurs while they are away on honeymoon, and the concert goes ahead on their return. To avoid a command from Berlin to take up a post in the German Navy Georg sings with the family at the Concert and escapes before the final curtain via the Convent. Rolf, despite his former affections, is instrumental in getting the chase under way, but the Nuns find ways of immobilising Nazi cars and Mother Abbess bids the entire family godspeed as they “Climb Every Mountain” to Switzerland and safety. Everyone lives happily ever after.
The Pratt Family Singers
A gentle but spirited musical protest by Male members of an Amateur Operatic Society* at the lack of involvement in the choice of its annual production viz. “The Sound of Music” – presented as a cabaret item at the Society’s post-show party in Lincoln in December 1970. [This event, although containing tragedy, was to change the lives of at least two people in a very happy way for ever.]
MAX : Excuse me, Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement that concerns you. “The Sound of Music” like the Kalsburg Festival has come to its conclusion; except of course that you don’t know quite what that conclusion is. We have all enjoyed the wonderful and successful production over the last two weeks, but I would like very humbly to suggest that you have not quite heard everything. And so, at tremendous expense and at very great personal danger, I ask you to give a very warm welcome to The Pratt Family Singers…
[Enter chorus, singing to guitar accompt.]
ALL : The hills are alive with the sound of music,
With songs they have sung for a thousand years;
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music,
My heart wants to sing every song it hears;
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the bird that rise
From the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh as the chime that flies
From a church on the breeze;
To laugh like a drain when it gurgles on
Through the sewers broad and deep,
To slurp through the night
And stop people getting their sleep.
We take to the pills when our hearts are lonely
We just can’t conceive – what else can we do ?
Our hearts are quite sad with The Sound of Music
For we can sing too !
CAPT : Maria, darling, will you still love me when I get old ?
“MARIA” : Why don’t you get old and see ?
CAPT : I am Sixty going on Seventy
There’s life in the old dog yet;
Better beware, be canny and careful
Better go see the vet.
You are Seventy going on Eighty,
Baby, you’re just my type.
Even though you are slightly askew
You’re certainly over-ripe.
Totally unprepared are you to face a world of Men;
If I were you I’d think it wise to start all over again.
You need someone younger and wiser
Telling you what to do
I am Sixty going on Seventy,
I’m nearly past it too !
“MARIA” : But how did we get into this mess ?
CAPT. : It’s a very long story…….
ALL : Let’s start at the very beginning
A very good place to start.
When you read you begin with ABC
When you sing you begin with Do-Re-Mi.
Do-Re-Mi.
Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti…….
Dough, the cash that caused it all
Ray, the driver’s mate who got
Me, a nice young innocent girl,
Far away in some dark spot.
So, I had to call for aid,
“La !”, I shouted all in vain;
“Tee-hee !”, he cried, “I’ve got it made !”.
Now he’s short of Dough again ! [& Repeat from “Dough”]
MAX : But, Captain, if only we’d been properly advised
ALL : ILL ADVICE, ILL ADVICE
Every moment you haunt me,
Right or wrong, What a song,
Only serves to taunt me.
Blossom of snow,
What a blooming show,
Blooming show this autumn;
ILL ADVICE, ILL ADVICE,
What a lesson we’ve taught ‘em.
[ & Repeat]
CAPT. : Yes, Max, but how can we put things right ?
MAX : Listen, and I’ll tell you.
[to audience]Are you all sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin…
MAX : No little chorus to sing have we,
No chance to show our great repartee,
ALL : How can men survive ?
MAX : Still, though our musical souls still ache,
We’ll carry on for the “County’s”* sake,
There’s a table to shift and a bed to make;
ALL : That’s how men survive.
ALL : On with the desk, then take a short rest
Till it’s time for Act One Scene Five;
Then, oh my Heck, it’s all hands on deck,
And the stage teems with men like a bee-hive.
Not very far off the beam are we,
Quaint and bizarre as a team are we,
Well-dressed young men of Propertee,
We’re keeping our hopes alive,
Dashing young men of Propertee,
We’ll make sure men survive.
CAPT. : Well, Max, if that’s the way you go about it the sky’s the limit.
MAX : How do we get there, Captain ?
CAPT. : We all know that. There’s only one way.
ALL : Climb every mountain, search high and low,
Follow every by-way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream.
A dream that will need all the love you can give.
Every day of your life, for as long as you live.
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream.
[& Repeat from “A dream”]
THE END
[* County Amateur Operatic and Dramatic Society – the “County”]
MAX : Excuse me, Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement that concerns you. “The Sound of Music” like the Kalsburg Festival has come to its conclusion; except of course that you don’t know quite what that conclusion is. We have all enjoyed the wonderful and successful production over the last two weeks, but I would like very humbly to suggest that you have not quite heard everything. And so, at tremendous expense and at very great personal danger, I ask you to give a very warm welcome to The Pratt Family Singers…
[Enter chorus, singing to guitar accompt.]
ALL : The hills are alive with the sound of music,
With songs they have sung for a thousand years;
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music,
My heart wants to sing every song it hears;
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the bird that rise
From the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh as the chime that flies
From a church on the breeze;
To laugh like a drain when it gurgles on
Through the sewers broad and deep,
To slurp through the night
And stop people getting their sleep.
We take to the pills when our hearts are lonely
We just can’t conceive – what else can we do ?
Our hearts are quite sad with The Sound of Music
For we can sing too !
CAPT : Maria, darling, will you still love me when I get old ?
“MARIA” : Why don’t you get old and see ?
CAPT : I am Sixty going on Seventy
There’s life in the old dog yet;
Better beware, be canny and careful
Better go see the vet.
You are Seventy going on Eighty,
Baby, you’re just my type.
Even though you are slightly askew
You’re certainly over-ripe.
Totally unprepared are you to face a world of Men;
If I were you I’d think it wise to start all over again.
You need someone younger and wiser
Telling you what to do
I am Sixty going on Seventy,
I’m nearly past it too !
“MARIA” : But how did we get into this mess ?
CAPT. : It’s a very long story…….
ALL : Let’s start at the very beginning
A very good place to start.
When you read you begin with ABC
When you sing you begin with Do-Re-Mi.
Do-Re-Mi.
Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti…….
Dough, the cash that caused it all
Ray, the driver’s mate who got
Me, a nice young innocent girl,
Far away in some dark spot.
So, I had to call for aid,
“La !”, I shouted all in vain;
“Tee-hee !”, he cried, “I’ve got it made !”.
Now he’s short of Dough again ! [& Repeat from “Dough”]
MAX : But, Captain, if only we’d been properly advised
ALL : ILL ADVICE, ILL ADVICE
Every moment you haunt me,
Right or wrong, What a song,
Only serves to taunt me.
Blossom of snow,
What a blooming show,
Blooming show this autumn;
ILL ADVICE, ILL ADVICE,
What a lesson we’ve taught ‘em.
[ & Repeat]
CAPT. : Yes, Max, but how can we put things right ?
MAX : Listen, and I’ll tell you.
[to audience]Are you all sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin…
MAX : No little chorus to sing have we,
No chance to show our great repartee,
ALL : How can men survive ?
MAX : Still, though our musical souls still ache,
We’ll carry on for the “County’s”* sake,
There’s a table to shift and a bed to make;
ALL : That’s how men survive.
ALL : On with the desk, then take a short rest
Till it’s time for Act One Scene Five;
Then, oh my Heck, it’s all hands on deck,
And the stage teems with men like a bee-hive.
Not very far off the beam are we,
Quaint and bizarre as a team are we,
Well-dressed young men of Propertee,
We’re keeping our hopes alive,
Dashing young men of Propertee,
We’ll make sure men survive.
CAPT. : Well, Max, if that’s the way you go about it the sky’s the limit.
MAX : How do we get there, Captain ?
CAPT. : We all know that. There’s only one way.
ALL : Climb every mountain, search high and low,
Follow every by-way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream.
A dream that will need all the love you can give.
Every day of your life, for as long as you live.
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream.
[& Repeat from “A dream”]
THE END
[* County Amateur Operatic and Dramatic Society – the “County”]
The Amateur
Garden furniture and oh yes there was a desk in Mother Superior’s study. And there was a make-believe hill which Maria started off on for “Hills are Alive” I don’t know what happened to that. It may have reappeared at the end for Climb Every Mountain. Much of the wings were used for storing stuff rather than allowing people to stand and watch. There was a bedroom scene where the desks had to be shifted. Then there was a party. In the second act I don’t think we featured in anything until the Edelweiss concert. Amateur shows then – you hired the costume from a famous place in Leeds – you also hired the set. There were so many scene changes in each show. You hired backdrops. They dropped down at different times. They all had to be bundled out. The get out on Saturday. Where furniture was required that was shunted on. The seats and things I suppose. Seats in the house scenes. It may have been a central staircase. We had to construct the bed and then deconstruct it to store it away. We’re talking November 1970. I think when this was happening which is only 37 years ago. I can remember bits of each of the shows. The performance was a fortnight and if you imagine all the rehearsals you had to commit.
The first dance
They used to have an annual dance in the Assembly Rooms. I tried my hand at dancing there. Not very successfully. It was only a one off. I went to the dance to make up a foursome but that didn’t materialise into anything. I spent most of my time on the sidelines before making the occasional foray onto the dance floor. But I think whatever music was being played at the dinner dance after the meal. It must have enabled people to do waltz or quickstep or slow quickstep to it. I don’t think it was the solo style dancing which has been the style now for the last generation or two where you’re standing out of hold. I did make a comment. “It’s always hard for a lady to dance with a chap who doesn’t know how to lead.” Which is a precursor of Strictly Come Dancing fever we have now. In that first dance. In that talk we established what we each did. I was in the legal profession and Mum was a teacher. So we got onto nodding terms before the cabaret and then we sort of gravitated to each other in the aftermath of the aborted cabaret. Do you remember what that first dance you would have had? It would have been a Waltz, One, two, Three or Quickstep, Slow. Slow. Quick. Quick. Slow. I don’t know if I can simulate it with a chair. We’ve since gone on to more ambitious things. We still haven’t acquired the glitz and the glamour that the professionals have and we don’t aspire to their wardrobe either.
The Sound of Music
The girl who played Liesl - her mother happened to be Joan Turner and she offered her services to do a half hour midnight half an evening of a midnight show. Someone had the bright idea for the other half can’t we do a potted version of the Sound of Music. Which is fine. Bear in mind that this is the Wednesday after the fortnight. By which time some of the cast were unavailable. Including the chap who played Rolf. So I was dragooned into playing Rolf for the scene where he delivers the telegram. Part of the problem was having young people performing at that time of night. I think there was a problem.
This quote from an interview with my Dad made me wonder how we might be able to do a 'potted version of The Sound of Music' a whistle-stop tour of the musical using the songs to structure our story and revisit The Post-Show Party in 1970 at which Arthur Hunter died and my parents met. I will be playing him remembering and he will be playing me helping him to remember. Father and son. Onstage and offstage. Show and post-show. The making of me and The Sound of Music.
This quote from an interview with my Dad made me wonder how we might be able to do a 'potted version of The Sound of Music' a whistle-stop tour of the musical using the songs to structure our story and revisit The Post-Show Party in 1970 at which Arthur Hunter died and my parents met. I will be playing him remembering and he will be playing me helping him to remember. Father and son. Onstage and offstage. Show and post-show. The making of me and The Sound of Music.
Dance history
My dance history. Not very spectacular and very limited. My first musical was Song of Norway which called for some dancing manoeuvres. In fact it called for a ballet to the tune of a Grieg’s Piano Concerto. They wanted four young men to do dancing so we were dragooned into rehearsals with the dancing girls to get toned up in order to do that. I think it was the waltz. In the course of that they tried to teach us the rudiments of the fox-trot which didn’t really click and the quick step/slow quickstep. That would have been instilled in me up to a point which would have given me little confidence in asking someone to dance. I think on an earlier occasion.
Waiting in the wings
We were just standing around and the children do their bit and all I remember is the children are dancing around and all the men have to sing ‘Good night’ it was a bit of a raw deal really. It was a good show to do, but I think the men felt a bit out of it. I think a few years later not when I was in it. They did “Paint your Wagon” which redressed the balance a bit. Were you waiting in the wings? In the wings and in the green room which was off to the side. There wasn’t much room in the wings. You couldn’t really congregate there until you were about to go on. How deep was the stage? Changing rooms were up some stairs up there so it wasn’t like Co-op Arts where you change under the stage. My memories a complete blur. Do you want to have another coffee?
The Line
Do you remember the line you had? “Ulrich, block the driveway !”. I am supposed to be a Nazi on guard on one end of the stage. When the Von Trapps don’t appear I’m supposed to be calling out to the guards. Do you remember how you did that? Could you try and walk it through. I was just standing. In fact we had to be careful because a backcloth came down and we had to be careful we were standing on the right side of it. This all dates long before the Christening but it’s all germane to what you’re doing. You know how they award the prizes. First prize. Second prize. I think Mum came on as one of the members of the choir that won a prize. Came out of her nun’s habit for that. She was a novice mum. Mum had a dancing part in the party she was dancing with a teacher chap. Can we just try you’re a standing guard. There are two Nazi guards on stage. We’re beside a backdrop that comes down. We’re supposed to make sure the Von Trapps don’t escape. We realise that they’re not coming on and I shout Ulrich – block the driveway. Then it cuts to the graveyard where they are hiding behind gravestones or whatever where they escaped to.
The Songs
Were you singing the songs that you’d written in the wings? We’d had a few evenings to prepare. We used to rehearse in a clubhouse behind a pub in Clasketgate, Lincoln. The Crown I think it was. We were in the pub putting these things together at the same time as rehearsals to fine-tune it. I don’t think the ladies were aware of what was going on. We tried to keep it a bit of a surprise. Arthur Hunter had a small speaking part. Austrian Baron is at the party. He played the guitar at the cabaret. I still have the piece of cardboard with his guitar chords written on.
Side One
1 Prelude And The Sound Of Music 2:48
2 Overture And Preludium (Dixit Dominus) 3:16
3 Morning Hymn And Alleluia 2:04
4 Maria 3:19
5 I Have Confidence in Me 3:29
6 Sixteen Going On Seventeen 3:20
7 My Favorite Things 2:21
8 Climb Ev'ry Mountain 2:18
Side Two
9 The Lonely Goatherd 3:13
10 The Sound Of Music 2:13
11 Do-Re-Mi 5:36
12 Something Good 3:19
13 Processional And Maria 2:30
14 Edelweiss 1:53
15 So Long, Farewell 2:57
16 Climb Ev'ry Mountain (Reprise) 1:21
Side One
1 Prelude And The Sound Of Music 2:48
2 Overture And Preludium (Dixit Dominus) 3:16
3 Morning Hymn And Alleluia 2:04
4 Maria 3:19
5 I Have Confidence in Me 3:29
6 Sixteen Going On Seventeen 3:20
7 My Favorite Things 2:21
8 Climb Ev'ry Mountain 2:18
Side Two
9 The Lonely Goatherd 3:13
10 The Sound Of Music 2:13
11 Do-Re-Mi 5:36
12 Something Good 3:19
13 Processional And Maria 2:30
14 Edelweiss 1:53
15 So Long, Farewell 2:57
16 Climb Ev'ry Mountain (Reprise) 1:21
The Cabaret
Can you remember the room. I can’t remember whether it was live music or record. I think there must have been live music because there was a piano there. They had someone try and play the piano for our bit. For the cabaret bit. That would be down there. The tables would have been all cleared away to the sides. We would have been round there. The music bit would have been here. The street there. I know the collapse happened half way through our bit. Mum joined us at our table talking about the bits we haven’t done. At some point music struck up. We were all urged to get up and dance to break the air a bit. Then it was decided to end the event early because obviously it was a serious heavy mood. That’s when we sorted ourselves out into taxis and instead of going home with Delia and Uncle David. Mum allied herself to my party. Went to St Giles to take a girl home called Lorraine. Then to North Hykeham to take Alywn home then finished up at Thorney.
The Concept
In 2008, Pinchbeck will work with his father – Tony - to recreate the post-show party at which his parents met in 1970. His mum was a nun. His Dad was a Nazi. It was an amateur dramatic version of The Sound of Music. At the post-show party, the man playing the baron collapsed leading to the end of the party. For The Post-Show Party Show the show starts at the end of the show and the beginning of the post-show party.
Michael Pinchbeck is a writer, live artist and performance maker based in Nottingham, UK. His work is an exit strategy from the everyday. He operates autobiographically by using self and site-as-source to illustrate loss and explore absence. He aims to challenge the boundaries of text, performance and installation. He is interested in moments when work ceases to mean and how we reconfigure the meaning at these moments.
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